Last spring, I met a couple sitting in the waiting room of a Los Angeles fertility clinic. They were quiet at first, their hands clasped, eyes fixed on the floor. When we started talking, the mother-to-be asked, barely above a whisper, “How long will it take to find her?”
That question stays with me. It carries both fear and hope. Because finding your gestational carrier — the woman who will carry your child — is not just about timing or cost. It is about trust.
At EDSI, I have seen families match in as little as six weeks and others take closer to a year. The difference often comes down to four key factors that you can control. My goal here is to help you understand each one so you can move forward with confidence and realistic expectations.
The Three Primary Paths to Finding a Surrogate
1. Surrogacy Agency Match
Working with a surrogacy agency gives you professional guidance from start to finish. The agency coordinates everything — matching, screening, legal work, and ongoing support.
When to choose this path: You prefer a structured, guided experience and access to pre screened surrogates.
Pros
Agencies have pre screened candidates ready to move forward, saving months.
They manage background checks, psychological evaluations, and insurance.
They offer ongoing emotional and logistical support.
Cons
Higher cost due to professional coordination.
Less control over who appears in your match pool.
2. Independent Match
Also called self matching, this approach means finding a surrogate on your own through networks, social media, or word of mouth.
When to choose this path: You want more control and are comfortable handling coordination yourself.
Pros
Lower initial cost.
Full control over criteria and communication.
Cons
Greater risk if screening or legal steps are missed.
Often takes longer to find a qualified candidate.
3. Known Surrogacy
Sometimes the surrogate is someone already in your life — a sister, cousin, or close friend.
When to choose this path: You already have a trusted person who is emotionally and medically ready.
Pros
Fastest route, often immediate.
Built on existing trust.
Lower overall cost.
Cons
Emotional dynamics can shift. Professional counseling is essential.
Full medical and legal screening still required.
What Impacts Your Surrogate Matching Timeline
Agency or Program Selection Agencies that keep a balanced number of Intended Parents and available surrogates typically match within one to six months. Programs with long waitlists may take a year or more. Ask about the average time and active surrogate count.
Intended Parent Preferences Flexibility shortens your wait. Restrictive preferences about location or pregnancy views can limit options. If you are an LGBTQIA+ or single parent, choose agencies that specialize in inclusive matching.
Embryo Readiness This is the single most important factor. At EDSI, Intended Parents who already had embryos created matched on average three months faster than those still completing IVF.
Surrogate Screening Status A pre screened surrogate, one who has completed medical, psychological, and background checks, can save up to two months after matching.
Beyond the Match: The Full Surrogacy Process Timeline
A match is not the finish line. It is the halfway point.
Surrogacy Timeline
Legal Contracts (1 to 3 months): Both parties complete legal agreements before medical procedures begin.
Medical Screening and Clearance (1 month): The surrogate finalizes testing at your fertility clinic.
Medication and Embryo Transfer (1 month): Hormone therapy prepares the surrogate’s cycle.
Pregnancy and Birth (9 to 10 months): Standard prenatal care and delivery.
From the first consultation to birth, most journeys take fourteen to twenty four months.
How to Prepare for a Fast Match
Finalize your embryos before starting your search.
Complete your psychological evaluation early.
Prepare your finances and secure an escrow account.
Write your Intended Parent profile with honesty and heart.
Stay flexible about geography and small details.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it usually take to find a surrogate? Between one and eighteen months, depending on readiness and flexibility.
Can I find a surrogate without an agency? Yes, but independent matching requires more time and personal oversight.
Is using a known surrogate faster? Yes, though full screening is still required.
What causes the longest delays? Incomplete embryos, narrow criteria, or agencies with long waitlists.
Are surrogacy laws the same across the United States? No. Some states allow pre birth parentage orders, others require post birth orders. Always consult a reproductive attorney.
About the Author
Parham Zar is the Managing Director of the Egg Donor and Surrogacy Institute (EDSI) in Beverly Hills, California. For more than twenty years, he has guided thousands of families through surrogacy and egg donation, helping them navigate every legal, medical, and emotional stage of the process.
